Sex, Lies & Videotape

The SD boys were gathered at Bez's mansion for a Chinese New Year-cum-house-warming party. Those present were Rukawa, Sakuragi, Kogure, Mitsui, Maki, Kiyota, Sendoh, Koshino and Fujima. They had just been given a tour of all the rooms.

Sakuragi:"Oi, Bez, how come you can afford such a nice place?"

Bez:"Eh heh heh..."*sweatdrop*"That's MY secret."*immense sweatdrop*


Bez:*hawkering in Tampines Mall*"Lelong, lelong! Videos of your favourite SD boys in some rather R-rated situations! Limited stock! Buy now before they're all gone!"

*crowds of fangirls can be seen pushing and shoving while waving wads of notes at the shabbily-made stall*

*Bez's eyes turn dollar-shaped at the amount of sales*

Policeman:"Oi, what's going on around here?"

*crowd disperses faster than you can say 'Tensai' and a tiny figure can be seen in the distance, cycling as fast as she can, dollar notes streaming behind her*

~End of Flashback~

Bez:*changes subject*"Hey, Fujima, how come Hanagata isn't here?"

Fujima:"He was pretty, erm, tired, and he, erm, wanted to rest."

everyone stares at Fujima suspiciously

Fujima:*sweatdrop*"Wha-what? It's the truth!"*tries to defend himself*

Bez:*eyes gleam*"Hey guys, want to see something interesting?"*pops a tape in the player and Ultra-big-screen TV flickers to life*

*screen clears to reveal...Fujima and Hanagata in all their naked glory*

*Everyone, except Bez and Fujima, sweatdrops. Bez simply laughs evilly while Fujima looked ready to faint*

Koshino:*smirk*"So THAT'S why Hanagata's so tired."*stops smirking when screen changes to one of Sendoh and Koshino*"What the-BEZ! YOU! I should have burned that BEEP camera!"

Sendoh:"Now, now, Hiro-kun, violence will get you nowhere."*restrains Koshino from strangling Bez, who is hiding behind the sofa, to death*"Bez-chan, why don't you get us something to cool us off? I'm sure Hiro-kun could do with some."*gestures to the steaming Koshino*

Bez:"Ha...hai!*runs to kitchen and returns with several boxes*

Mitsui:"What's this?"*pulls a bottle out*"Hey, great! Just what I needed! Bottom's up!"*everyone stares at Mitsui, aghast, as he downs a whole bottle in one go*

Mitsui:*notices everyone staring*"What?"

Sakuragi:*peers at a bottle cautiously*"Alcohol? I'm not so sure about this."

Rukawa:"Do'aho. Just drink it. It's not as if it's poisoned or something."*calmly swallows a mouthful*

Sakuragi:"Teme, Kitsune! I'll show you!"*empties an entire box in mere seconds*

Bez:"Maa, maa, Sakuragi, not so much. You don't want to get...

Sakuragi:"Dun hic wan to hic ged wat?"*burp*

Bez:"Too late..."

*two hours, 9 drunk boys, 11 empty boxes and one sober host later...*

Bez:*patiently watches videos for the fifth time*"Any minute now..."

Sendoh:*finishes his seventh bottle*"Cushy-koo, ware arr yooo?*

(For the benefit of readers, all slurred speech will be translated to standard English)


Sendoh:"Koshy-kun, where are you?"

Koshino is too intoxicated to respond

*Sendoh grabs nearest person and proceeds to push his tongue down person's throat*

Fujima:"Mmph!"*wants to resist but head is spinning too much, so clings on instead*

Sendoh:"No scratching, biting or slapping? You're not Hiro-kun."*lets go of Fujima and grabs next nearest person*"Hiro-honey?"

Kiyota:"Eeeks, don't touch me!"*jumps about ten feet in the air, landing Maki's arms*

Maki:"Hmm, Nobu, I never knew you liked me so much."*kisses a dazed Kiyota*

Koshino:*suddenly sober*"You jerk! How could you, hitting on other people, in my presence too!"*Throws bottle at Sendoh*

*bottles misses Sendoh and Mitsui catches it, finishing the remaining liquid inside*

Sendoh:"Jealous, Hiro-kun? Don't worry, I love only you. Want me to prove it?"


*Sendoh doesn't wait for him to finish. He picks Koshino up and slings him over his shoulders(seems familiar?^^)and carries him to the nearest bedroom. Bez runs after them, camera in hand.*

Sakuragi:"Hey guys, look, there's something new on the screen!"

*Mitsui looks at 'someone', who looks flushed*

*at this moment, Rukawa is thinking the exact same thing about Kogure*

*the subjects of their scrutiny are watching the screen, not knowing that every move they make simply gives rise to more hentai thoughts in the minds of two drooling boys*

<On Television Screen>

Sendoh is advancing towards Koshino, who is moving backwards. Koshino trips on the carpet and falls down on his butt, on top of said carpet.
Koshino:"Itai! My butt hurts now, and it's all your fault, Akira!"

Sendoh:*hentai grin*"Want me to examine it for you?"*starts unzipping Koshino's pants*

Koshino:"Stop! Let me go! This is rape!"

*Sendoh pauses, only to remove his shirt before resuming stripping off Koshino's clothes*

<Back in the Living Room>

Kogure:"Bez-chan, we haven't seen this video before. Where did you get this?"

Bez:*pops head out of bedroom*"That's not a tape, it's 'LIVE'."

*a loud scream of the name 'Akira' can be heard from the bedroom, matching the one from the television set. Bez exits the bedroom.*

Bez:"I just LOVE those portable videocameras. They're so automatic- just a push of a button and aim them at the scene to record!"*reveals a whole box of videocameras*

Rukawa:*looks at Kogure and thinks*"So innocent, so wonderful, so beautiful. Simply perfect. Why haven't I made a move yet?"
*Mitsui is thinking the exact same thing(great minds think alike!^^;;;)*

Bez:"I can even set background music!"*presses a button and starts singing together with the music*

"Let's talk about sex, baby,
Let's talk about you and me,
Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be..."

Maki:*eyes gleam*"Shall we, Nobu?"*carries Kiyota to another room*

*Bez follows them. A while later, the scene onscreen alternates between the bedroom and a room that looks like a study because of a rather large oak desk inside*

Maki:"No bed here. The desk will have to do, then."*drops Kiyota on the desk*"I've been wanting to do that for a long time."

Bez:"The alcohol just blocked out his hesitation, together with his concience.*shrugs*
Bez breaks into song again

"So give it to me baby, ah-ha, ah-ha,
So give it to me baby, ah-ha, ah-ha,
So give it to me baby, ah-ha, ah-ha,
And all the girls say a pretty fly for a white guy."

*Kiyota can't do anything, as he might roll off the desk if he tries to move away. Maki takes full advantage of the situation. In a record beating even Sendoh's, the two of them are shed of all clothing.*

Rukawa:"Kogure-sempai, I...I..."*tries to speak but nothing comes out. In the end, he just drags Kogure out of the room.*

*Bez follows them discreetly, yet another camera dangling by her side. They end up in...the garden?!*

Kogure:"What's going-"*sentence is cut off by another mouth*

*Rukawa pins Kogure to a tree. He hands manuveres their way to the seat of Kogure's pants. Rukawa presses his body to Kogure's, the heat between them growing every second. Their mouths still meshed together, they drop to the grass, hands straying all over the place.*

Bez:"Yeah baby, yeah!"*runs away when Rukawa glares at her, but leaves camera there. All the cameras are dutifully recording away.*

*Bez runs into the living room, only to be greeted with a scene of mass destruction. Tables are overturned, Bottles are lying everywhere and clothes are strewn over the furniture still standing. Thankfully, the television is left untouched. However, there are some strange sounds, almost like moans and groans, coming from behind it. Bez quietly sneaks to the side and peeps.*

<The Scene That Bez Sees>

Three boys, mainly Mitsui, Sakuragi and Fujima are lying together and, well, we'll just leave you with this last song and let your imagination do the work, shall we?

I'm horny, horny horny horny,
I'm horny, horny horny horny,
I'm horny, horny horny horny,
So horny, I'm horny horny horny tonight~!