Well, this fic was inspired by the one that I wrote some time ago ' What If'.  Let's just say that Fallen Angel will sort of explain the events that led up to the time that ' What If ' was about...Damn...I should have posted this fic first but I only thought up the concept after I already posted the prior.  I know that basically, for those who've read that fic, the ending has been ruined, but I hope that you will still like this anyways...

*sighs*  I shouldn't even be writing this...I mean...I've still got three other fics to finish but I just couldn't resist the thought of a MitKoRu...So for anybody whose waiting for the continuations of the other fics...Please bear with me...I will finish them all.  I swear.

I don't love him anymore...This was the conclusion that Kogure Kiminobu came up with one morning as he sat by the edge of the bed, looking down at his sleeping lover.  Usually, the sight of Mitsui Hisashi's unguarded face was enough to make him melt, but it failed to have that sort of effect on him now.  In fact, now that he took the time to look back, to seriously look back on the gradual change that had occurred in the man who he had considered to be his soul mate, Mitsui just hadn't been stirring the kind of feelings that he had used to within him anymore.  He had just...Fallen out of love.

And for some reason, this thought scared him.  It scared him because for the last six years of his life, he couldn't recall a time when he had ever stopped loving Mitsui.  Never once in those six years had he stopped caring for him, even through all the troubles and strife that they had gone through, only to get back together in the end.  It scared him that the feelings that he had thought were so strong had gone, just like that without him even really noticing.

Most of all, it scared him because he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Mitsui had become such an integral part of his life that he couldn't imagine how the hell he would be able to muddle through without him.  But he knew, deep within his heart, that he couldn't go on like this.  He couldn't take the new Hisashi Mitsui.  The one that had replaced his sweet, loving boyfriend.  It hurt Kogure to see his Sashi-kun the way he was now.  To see what he was doing to himself.  It hurt too much for even him, the ever patient, ever dependable Megane-kun, to be able to stay.

His boyfriend was taking a rapid downward spiral, and Kogure sure as hell didn't want to have to be there to watch it.  He had tried to talk to him, begged and pleaded with him to straighten himself out while there was still some time, but Mitsui paid no heed, merely pointing out that he had never been an angel in the first place, that he had known that before the two of them had even gotten together, so what the hell made him think that there was any chance of him turning into the goody goody two shoes that he himself was?

That had hurt Kogure.  But then, over the last few months,  he had sort of gotten used to that.  Mitsui had gotten into the habit of hurting him.  Now, it was only through verbal insults, jeering at his good boy image, telling him how pathetic he was.  But as Mitsui came home later, and later each day, getting more and more drunk, Kogure had truly begun to fear for his safety.

Lately, Mitsui hadn't even been bothering to come back to their dorm room anymore, preferring to stay wherever he had collapsed after a hard night of partying with his new set of friends.  This was one of those rare times that the actually managed to drag himself back  to the small room that they shared before he passed out, either from drunkenness, as the effect of those drugs that Kogure knew he had been taking, despite of Mitsui's weak protests, or both.

He had had enough, and so had a lot of other people.  He knew that the coach of the University's basketball team was sick and tired of his boyfriend's erratic behavior.  Mitsui had started out with so much promise.  He had come to Kanagawa University on athletic scholarship in fine form.  Coach Murasaki had never expected him to turn into the cocky, drunken fool that he now was, constantly missing practices, running out of the gym to throw up in the yard if ever he did make it.

Kogure had never thought that Mitsui would make the same mistake twice.  He hadn't thought that he would revert to his former state back when he had been the leader of a feared street gang.  But here it was.  Here we go again.  He may not be running around with a bunch of tough guys this time, but this was just as bad.  He had let his status as one of the brightest young basketball stars in Japan get to his head and this was what happened.  He turned into...this.

Sighing, he poked gently at Mitsui's ribs.  " Sashi-kun."  He said mechanically, out of habit.  It felt wrong for him now to be referring to Mitsui in such a familiar way.  He didn't even know this guy anymore.  This wasn't his Sashi-kun.  This wasn't the Sashi-kun that used to wake him up with a kiss everyday.  This wasn't the Sashi-kun that had persisted until Kogure's parents had acknowledged their relationship.  This wasn't the Sashi-kun that he had fallen so madly in love with.  " Sashi-kun.  You have a class in thirty minutes.  Better get going."

Mitsui pushed away his hand and turned over onto his other side.  " Get lost."

" But your class, Sashi-kun..." Kogure persisted, though he knew that this was of no use.  They went through this same routine whenever Mitsui managed to get himself home and he already knew that it was futile to try and get him out of bed and into a classroom.  He just felt obliged to at least try.  " You know that your history teacher said that you can't afford to be absent any-"

" Look, dammit.  I don't care."  Mitsui snapped, his eyes flying open, and immediately shutting once again when the light hit them, causing a sudden wave of nausea to go over him.  " Just leave me alone.  I want to sleep.  Just go, all right?  God!  I'm getting so sick of you!   I don't even know why I stick around anymore!"

Kogure got up from the bed, his eyes momentarily filling up with tears.  But he wiped them away angrily, telling himself that this relationship wasn't even worth crying over anymore.  " Neither do I..."  He whispered, as he walked away to prepare for that day's classes.
 

~**~

" Good evening, Kiminobu-kun!  Do you think we could possibly speak to Mitsui-kun, please?"  Sendo Akira stood by the doorway, his usual pleasant smile on his lips though he looked rather uncomfortable, which Kogure thought was rather odd, since Sendo had grown to be a rather good friend of his ever since the younger boy had entered Kanagawa University.

" Well...Umm...He's out right now..."  He couldn't tell them where exactly his boyfriend was, as much as he might want to, because he himself didn't even know either.

" Partying again, huh?"  Came a droll voice from behind Sendo.  " Dammit.  What the hell happened to that guy, Megane-kun?  I thought being with you had straightened him out permanently and now here he is, acting like the perfect ass again!  I am going to bash that bastard's face in!  I swear, the next time that I see that-"

" Hana-kun, please."  Sendo interjected pleadingly.

Still fuming, Sakuragi Hanamichi stopped his angry tirade and followed the two older boys into the room, where he sat himself down onto Kogure's bed.  " We need to talk, Megane-kun.  About that stupid, stupid boyfriend of yours."

" I don't know how much help I can be in that department anymore."  Kogure admitted, running a hand agitatedly through his dark hair.  " Mitsui isn't even listening to me anymore.  He...He..."

" Hasn't been the same."  Sendo finished for him, his warm blue eyes sympathetic.  " Look, Kimi-kun.  This is serious.  Mitsui hasn't been showing up for classes, or practices for the past couple of weeks.  The coach is angry.  The teachers are angry.  Coach Murasaki is going to kick him of the team already..."

" But he can't do that!"  Kogure protested, thinking about what this would mean for Mitsui.  No basketball, no scholarship.  And with no scholarship, Mitsui would just not be able to afford staying in college.

" He can.  And he was just about to." Hanamichi growled, bringing his clenched fist down onto his thigh.  It made his so angry seeing Mitsui just throwing everything away like this.  " Megane-kun, the school gave him the bloody scholarship so that he could play basketball for them.  Not so that he could party the night away and spend the whole time at practice the next day puking his guts out."

" And that's basically all that he's been doing."  Sendo continued, placing a placating hand on Hanamichi's shoulder.  " He hasn't been pulling his weight in the team for a long time now.  Fujima is getting sick of him.  The other guys are too and to tell you the truth, so am I."

" But since he's a friend of ours and all..." Hanamichi sighed.  " We managed to talk Coach Murasaki out of terminating his scholarship.  For now, anyways.  I don't think the old man will be so generous next time."

" So he's safe?"  Kogure asked softly.

Sendo shrugged.  " At least for now.  What Hanamichi-kun and I basically came to tell you is that Mitsui had better straighten out his act soon, or else..."  The spiky haired boy allowed this sentence to trail of ominously.

" You better talk to him about this, Megane-kun."  Hanamichi advised him tiredly.  " I tried to, but the two of us just ended up in a fist fight.  I hate to see him like this.  I hate to see him wasting all of his talent like this!  It's just...Stupid, what he's doing with himself!"

" Exactly."  Sendo nodded his head adamantly.  " Playing for Kanagawa University is such a great opportunity!  This could be his big break into Professional basketball.  And he's just wasting it, warming the bench like that.  How are the scouts supposed to notice him when he just keeps on sitting out of the games because he's too drunk or too high?"

" I don't know..." Kogure whispered, wringing his hand restlessly.  " I don't even know if I can reach him anymore...I don't know what to do..."

Hanamichi shrugged.  " You better talk to him soon, Megane-kun." He insisted, a scowl on his handsome face, " Because I may be his friend, but believe me, I won't be able to take much of that guy anymore.  I've just about had enough of him."

" Me too, Hanamichi-kun." Kogure admitted quietly, to the surprise of the other two, " Me too..."